Aug.5 / 2014

Pretty Little Liars Recap 509: March of Crimes

Recap 509

Emily is riding her bike home from Hanna’s house after responding to Alison’s SOS text and sees Noel Kahn pulled over in his car. His window is down and Emily can hear Alison’s voice coming from a handheld radio in Noel’s car. It seems to be a recording of Alison giving her statement to the police after she was ‘found’ by her friends. Noel takes off when he notices someone watching him. Well, that was weird.


At school the next day, Alison tries to talk to Hanna after music class, but Hanna doesn’t want to bond, she just wants Alison out of her house. They’re interrupted by Jenna and Hanna uses this as her chance to take off. The two girls make fake niceties until Alison asks Jenna a real shocker – how did Jenna turn Shana against Alison since Alison and Shana were friends first. BOMBSHELL!

PLL 509 Promo Much

In another room at Rosewood High, Lieutenant Tanner is questioning Aria in front of Ella about her relationship with Mr. Fitz and begins insinuating that Mr. Fitz was also dating Shana. Aria squashes that notion quickly, but Tanner refuses to share how Ezra is in any way related to someone breaking into the Marin house the night before. EVERYTHING IS RELATED IN ROSEWOOD.


Emily is meeting with the Swim Coach to finalize plans to make her the assistant coach. She pretends to forget her phone in his office and goes back to snoop through the locker assignments, quickly finding Noel Kahn’s locker code. Well played. She steals Noel’s car keys from his locker and breaks into his car, finding the radio she saw him holding the other night and surveillance pictures of Alison from when she was ‘dead’.


On her way to the optometrist to get whatever part of the barn is still in her eye out, Spencer pays Caleb a visit. She tries to reason with him, asking him to help Hanna, but Caleb doesn’t think Hanna needs help. Spencer makes a really compelling speech (she totally should have been Debate Team Captain) about how the two used to draw strength from one another. Now they’re just enablers. She also lets the Zack-thing slip, but I think that was a good move.


Spencer is waiting for her pupils to dilate in the waiting room of the optometrist when she thinks she sees two Jenna’s. In fact, it’s Jenna and Sydney in identical outfits. Spencer misses getting a picture of the two girls and with her eyesight compromised, she can’t be sure of what she saw.


Spencer calls Emily, who rushes over with her two working eyes to confirm Spencer’s bleary sighting. Jenna and Sydney are together and dressed identically.


The four girls have a showdown, but it’s really difficult to take Spencer seriously with those glasses. Emily demands to know why Sydney never said anything about knowing Jenna, but before she can answer, Jenna tells the girls they should be nervous around Alison, not her, and then leaves. Why is no one pointing out that they’re dressed the same? It’s weird.


Sydney goes to Emily’s house later to apologize for pretending to not known Jenna and explains that she met Jenna when she was volunteering at the school for the blind in Philadelphia. She was there when Alison first visited Jenna and threatened her to not tell anyone it was Alison who caused Jenna to go blind. When she found out Alison was alive and back in Rosewood, she moved to the small town to be with Jenna. Emily GOES OFF on Sydney like we’ve never seen her do before. Why can’t she direct some of this rage at Alison, who is obvious back to pulling strings?


Hanna shows up at Caleb’s after school and ready to get her drink-on and he confronts her about Zack. Hanna explains what happened and of course Caleb believes her. Then of course he pays Zack a visit at the Brew and punches him in the face.


Before Caleb delivered his knuckle sandwich, Zack showed him a note that ‘Hanna’ gave him, saying she liked him. ‘A’ is everywhere y’all. And has the penmanship of a high school girl.


Aria continues to have lingering doubts about Zack and finally confronts her mom. Ella admits that something else happened while they were in Europe and she tried to not believe it. She can’t avoid the truth the second time and decides to call off the wedding.


Byron finally comes back from what seems to have been a two month conference and consoles his crying ex-wife. Reconciliation?


Aria heads to Caleb’s cottage to see Hanna and apologize, explaining that she did believe Hanna, she just didn’t want her mom to get hurt again. Fair enough.


Emily gives Spencer the pictures and radio from Noel’s car and Spencer heads to her lake house to hide the goods, because I guess she couldn’t think of anywhere creepier to go alone and at night. She locks the evidence in a drawer and notices that one of her chairs has a foot. She pulls back the sheet to find Noel Kahn waiting for her. Hang on, how did he know she was going to her lake house?


Noel wants his stuff back. His ‘friend’ tends to get rid of people when they’re no longer useful and the pictures of Alison are insurance. Shana sent them to Jenna and when Alison found out, she asked Noel to break into Jenna’s house to get the pictures and radio, two items that prove Alison was lying about being kidnapped. Noel barely got out of Jenna’s house before it exploded. Hm, interesting. Spencer manages to scare Noel off with a fire poker, even sending him off with a sizable cut on his hand.


Hanna’s mother gets a call from the Rosewood Police that they’ve caught the man who broke into her house. He’s confessed to kidnapping Alison and retells the exact same story Alison told the police. She seems genuinely shocked, although I’m not sure if it’s fear or relief.


I can’t tell if he’s helping Alison or helping ‘A’, but either way, I’ve never seen this guy before. Unless he’s the lead singer of Kings of Leon. Is he the lead singer of Kings of Leon?


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