Aug.19 / 2014

Pretty Little Liars Recap 511: No One Here Can Love Or Understand Me

The girls are ready to go to the police station and confess, but on the way there they pass a storefront with TVs in the window. The screens all change to Alison in the hospital, a message from ‘A’ that translates into “here’s proof you knew Alison was alive and you’re all big fat liars”. Then the image changes to the a live feed of the girls, because ‘A’ is the greatest techie who ever lived.

Finally realizing that Alison is also a big fat liar, Emily begins to see the error of her ways ie. dumping Paige. We could have told her that a long time ago. Anywho, Emily talks to Paige and tells her that she wants to meet after school, but Paige has plans.

Those plans involve this little black dress and a cute blonde. RIP Paily.

Single with no prospects, Emily redirects her energy towards Ezra. Not like that. Emily capitalizes on Ezra’s CIA-like stalking skills and gives him the picture Noel had of Alison standing at an ATM while she was supposed to be kidnapped. Ezra manages to find another picture from the same scene, this time showing Cyrus, the man who admitted to kidnapping Ali. Now the girls know that Cyrus wasn’t a stranger to Alison, but that’s not really a huge shock. Alison made a lot of friends while she was on the run.

Aria’s little brother Mike and big, bad Mona are still going strong and I just can’t decide on how I feel about her. Can we trust Mona? Aria is so upset about the relationship that she actually does homework! Someone is actually doing homework!

Mike invites Mona to the movies with Aria and Byron and Aria whispers something nasty to Mona, causing the young girl to run into the bathroom crying. Aria apologizes and Mona makes an excellent point – once Alison is done torturing Mona, she’s going to turn on Aria and the other girls.

Hanna is getting increasingly worried about Caleb’s drinking and asks Spencer for the name of her sober coach. He was cute, let’s get him back! Instead, Spencer suggests that Toby talk to Caleb. Also cute, that will work too. Hanna plans for the two couples to have dinner and asks Toby to casually bring up the drinking, but instead he does it while the two teenage boys are doing their bro-hug-greeting. Toby continues to push the subject, and Caleb keeps talking about Ravenswood like it was Vietnam. He’s seen things, man


Hanna stops Caleb from running away from Rosewood and his feelings and all that stuff and finally gets him to talk about Ravenswood. Here it comes, we’re finally going to understand the really, really confusing events of Ravenswood…no, we’re not. Still doesn’t make sense.

Something about fireflies and Ouija Boards not being toys (laaaame). I watched the whole season and still don’t get it. I give up.

Tanner is still circling the girls and getting very close to Detective Wilden-territory by continuing to question the teens in public and without a parent present. She steps things up by paying Byron Montgomery a visit and informing him that ‘one of the girls’ is stepping forward to talk to her about Alison’s kidnapper. If she sleeps with Bryon then we’ll know she’s gone full-on Wilden. Tanner thinks Aria has something to do with an ongoing homicide investigation. Quick Byron, take off your shirt!

Melissa has left town, which is not a bad idea considering people keep showing up dead in her backyard. Once she’s safely out of the Rosewood time zone, she sends Spencer a package containing a recording Melissa made. On the tape, Melissa tells Spencer that she saw her sister walking around with a shovel the night Alison disappeared.

Melissa also saw a girl that she thought was Alison lying dead in their backyard. Terrified that Spencer had killed Alison with a shovel, Melissa tried to protect her sister by burying the blond girl. Melissa now knows that she buried a still-alive Bethany Young and in doing so, killed the teen. Wow. Heavy stuff. Melissa has always said she was protecting Spencer, but I don’t think we could have guessed how far she went. We still don’t know why Bethany was wearing Alison’s clothes or a duplicate outfit or how she was knocked unconscious to the point that Melissa thought she was dead. Did Spencer hit Bethany with a shovel thinking she was Alison?

Fingers crossed we get some answers in next week’s mid-season finale of Pretty Little Liars on Tuesday at 8E/5P on M3. Catch up on episodes, galleries, recaps and more online anytime at M3TV.ca/PrettyLittleLiars.