Feb.17 / 2015

Pretty Little Liars Recap 520: Pretty Isn’t The Point

Emily is still getting used to dating a married woman and it doesn’t help things when Talia’s husband Eric stops by The Brew. He introduces himself and tells Emily not to feel awkward. He knows his wife is just going through a phase. Run Emily!

Emily does run, all the way to the dance studio with Hanna. After hiring a pageant coach to help her win the $20,000 scholarship, it’s become very clear to Hanna that she doesn’t have a talent or any knowledge of current events. Then how did she get into these fancy colleges that require a huge tuition? Emily is spending the day helping Hanna learning a dance routine for the talent portion of the pageant when Caleb arrives with bad news.

He found the pageant sign-up sheet and saw that Hanna’s step-sister Kate has signed up. When her pageant coach stops by to check in on rehearsal, Hanna gets a little too into the music.

Their PG stripper routine gets straight up weird when Hanna freestyles. The coach tells Hanna she’s not pageant material, which seems a bit harsh. Emily tries sticking up for Hanna, but the coach quits anyways. She does tell Emily that she could win, which really isn’t helping Hanna’s confidence.

Hanna takes off and Emily finally catches up with her at the Marin’s house. The girls learn that Hanna’s step-sister Kate isn’t even in town, with all signs pointing to ‘A’ putting Katie’s name on the sheet. Hanna is defeated and Emily offers to enter the pageant and win the money for her. That’s very nice Emily, but shouldn’t you be winning tuition money for yourself?

Spencer and Jonny are having coffee at Hollis when they run into Toby. The interaction is about as awkward as possible, with Spencer and Toby looking like they haven’t spoken days, likely because they haven’t.

Jonny and Spencer are walking home together since they share a yard and see their vandalism being sold in a fancy gallery. Jonny is furious, but the gallery owner won’t give him the paintings, saying someone found them in the garbage and brought them to the gallery.

Jonny looks online and sees that the gallery has sold one of his paintings, so he and Spencer break in to steal the rest of the paintings back. Really? No other option? Spencer and Jonny make a clean getaway with the paintings, but Caleb catches up with them later at a gas station, because there are no other cops in this town. Seriously, no other cops? Jonny takes his Ramones t shirt very seriously and is flippant with a cop while driving around in a van fun of stolen paintings. So Toby arrests him.

Mrs. Hastings bails Jonny out of jail and then tells him to immediately get out of their barn. He stops by the house to tell Spencer he’s leaving and then goes in for the kiss, which she doesn’t pull away from. No Spencer! Stick with the cop who has medical benefits, not the unemployed guy living in his van by choice!

The girls are searching Mike’s room looking for the vials of blood from the picture ‘A’ sent. Instead, they find a women’s necklace in Mike’s gym bag and it has a Morse code pattern on it that spells ‘I’m with you’. Could this be for Mona? Maybe Alison? Maybe Mike is trying a new look?

The next day, Andrew is still wasting his time helping Aria study while she obsesses over Mike. They’re interrupted when Mike barges in, screaming at Aria for going through his room. He tells her she’ll live to regret it if she touches anything in his room again. Well, on the bright side at least she’ll live. He’s not really threatening to kill her, right?

Aria enlists Andrew, who is getting zero from this relationship, to follow Mike. Andrew sees Mike put something in a tree behind Mona’s house, but when he goes closer to investigate, Andrew hears someone and takes off.

He tells Aria about the tree and offers to go back with her, but Aria is intent on going on her own. Aria, take the cute 6’1 dude into the dark woods with you.

Aria finds what Mike was hiding in the tree and it’s a vile of blood. Mike confronts Aria and she drops the blood, which he says is Mona’s. Okay, time for a sleepover at Andrew’s house.

Aria rushes home looking for her dad, but Mike is right behind her. And he’s crying. This is making me less nervous. Mike finally comes clean and tells Aria what really happened. Before Mona went missing, Mike caught her with a mini fridge full of vials of her own blood. She was able to make a deal with ‘A’ where they would stage her death and she would go missing for a while. Holy shizz, Mona is totally Gone Girling herself! Okay, back on track. Mona would disappear, and ‘A’ would make sure Alison was out of town when Mona went missing. Still, Ali would get arrested and that’s where the plan ended.

Mona’s plan would then began, which included unmasking ‘A’ and then returning to Rosewood as the hero, setting Alison free and making sure Aria, Emily, Spencer and Hanna were safe for good. I feel like we’re back in the cottage again right before it goes up in flames. Mona STILL doesn’t know who ‘A’ is? Mike was upset by the plan and tried to talk Mona out of it, but she promised she would be safe. Well, that explains why he didn’t look overly upset when she ‘died’. But when Mona missed all their secret meetings, Mike started to panic. He went to Alison to see if she knew anything, but that was a dead end. Excuse the pun. Now Mike is terrified ‘A’ changed the plan and killed Mona. The vial of blood, which Mona gave him as a promise she would return (huh?) was all her had left of her. But wait.

Who was in the video attacking Mona? Was that Mike helping her? Why would Mona put her mother through the pain of thinking her daughter was dead? And how was Mona in contact with ‘A’? Who was the middle man? Why was Mike meeting Cyrus and what did he give him?

Now the girls are left with the decision of whether to help Alison get out of jail or hope she’s found innocent.

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