A lot happened on tonight’s episode of Reign and what better place to kick things off than a funeral? Who doesn’t look good in black? Mary’s mother Mary de Guise has traveled from Scotland for her brother’s funeral, faking her tears and putting on a show like everyone else. This dude was not well liked. Her shiva lasts about seven seconds before she’s chastising Mary for not only failing to produce an heir, but also failing to produce a husband in her bed every night.

Mary de Guise is insistent that Mary and Francis jump into bed or risk losing Scotland to Queen Elizabeth. Mary is ready to give it a shot, but Francis doesn’t think they should reunite under such strained circumstances.

Catherine, who has either become extremely understanding as of late or just looks that way compared to Mary de Guise, reminds her son to make sure that there are witnesses who see him enter Mary’s chambers. She also informs him that if Mary wants them to lead separate lives, he should think for once about what makes him happy.

Speaking of Lola (we all know it’s heading that way), she’s ecstatic to learn that Francis has arranged an engagement for their son John with the infant daughter of the Duke and Duchess of Habsburg. The engagement will ensure John’s safety no matter what happens to Francis, but first the couple want to meet Lola.

Speaking of women being judged for acts of sin (these segways are writing themselves), Greer is repaying her friend Sharlene with a wig after her last client cut off all her hair. She’s also helping Sharlene drum up some new business by dressing her like a lady and sending her to a fancy party.

Sharlene comes back with enough money to cover two months rent and begs Greer to help her and the other girls attend more parties and make more money. Lady Greer is now Madam Greer. Hey, it’s a living.

Antoine is ramping up is plan of attack on Bash’s life and Kenna remains his number one target. He enlists her help to plan a party and pays her handsomely, which of course infuriates Bash. Kenna promises she can handle herself around Antoine and can’t stand to spend another day sitting around waiting for Bash to come home. And where is Bash today? Out chasing ghosts.

The woman in white who helped the Greek man come back from the dead has been spotted again. This time she saved a sick boy from the brink of death, but blinded his brother in the process. Bash finds the woman in a convent and she swears she’s only trying to help people close to death, explaining that she can feel a person’s past and future pain. She does a reading for Bash and reveals that his heart will soon be broken by the loss of a loved one. It’s 1546. Anyone could die at any minute. This isn’t an impressive reading.

Kenna is late finishing the decorations for the party and Antoine offers her one of his wife’s dresses, also telling Kenna he’ll send word to Bash to meet her at the party. I think we can see how this goes. Bash gets drunk while waiting for Kenna and then shows up at the party and makes a scene.

The next day, Antoine approaches Kenna with an offer. His wife Jeanne is dying and when she passes, he wants to marry Kenna and make her Queen. Oh snap. Things just got very interesting.

Lola is preparing to meet her son’s future in-laws when she gets derailed by Mary de Guise. The elder Mary has apparently been working on a speech to deliver to Lola, chastising her for getting knocked up by Francis. It’s a harsh speech, but kinda fair. She did sleep with her best friend and her queen’s love. Even on a break, Ross Gellar would never.

Lola calms her nerves by taking a swig from the wine glass Mary de Guise was drinking from and promptly shows up T Antoine’s party high as a kite. In one evening, Lola insults the baby her son is to marry in front of the baby’s parents (I guess it was breathtaking), tells Francis he’s a good kisser, and throws herself at Narcisse. To his credit, Narcisse sees that Lola is on opiates and sends her to her room with a nurse. So he’ll kill an innocent man, but won’t have sex with a high woman. I do not understand Narcisse.

Mary and Francis are finally going to have their night of awkward passion, but Mary just can’t bring herself to hear Francis breathing.

Mary tells Francis again to take a lover and lead his own life and that’s when it finally hits him. Mary is in love with Conde and wants to lead a separate life with him. Talk about a mood killer.

After hearing about Lola’s sickness, Mary demands to know why her mother is taking opiates. Mary de Guise admits that she’s dying and needs the drugs to get through the pain. She wants to see her daughter produce a heir before she dies so that she’ll know Mary’s claim to Scotland will be safe from Queen Elizabeth, but I think we all know Mary will never be safe.

After learning of her mother’s impending death and revealing her feelings for Conde to Francis, Mary gets a burst of courage and tells Conde she’s returning to Scotland and wants him to join her as her lover.

While Conde is considering the proposal, Antoine finds him to tell him the good news – Queen Elizabeth wants to marry Conde. Let’s not forget, Conde’s relationship with Mary could end in his death if people found out he was having an affair with the queen. So yeah, things just got really, really interesting.

Watch new episodes of Reign every Wednesday at 8E/5P exclusively on M3.